《二十四日》の奇跡

第一話 散歩と再会

僕、室生犀星にとって、毎月<二十四日>は憂鬱だ。                                                                                                                  
                                                                                                                  
息子の豹太郎は“六月”、親友だった芥川龍之介君は                                                                                                         “七月”の<二十四日>に逝ってしまった。                                                                                                                 
                                                                                                                
“会いたい”。                                                                                                              
                                                                                                              
僕は書斎の文机の前に座りながら泣いた……                                                                                                          
                                                                                                          
涙が書きかけの原稿の上に落ち、インクが滲んだ。                                                                                                        
                                                                                                        
一度流れ出した涙は止まることを知らない。                                                                                                        
                                                                                                        
毎月、一晩中泣いていてはいけないと思いつつも                                                                                                        
感情の制御ができない。                                                                                                      
                                                                                                      
毎月、<二十四日>だけは妻のとみ子も                                                                                                      
僕を一人にしてくれる。                                                                                                    
                                                                                                    
そして、とみ子は僕の“隠している想い”にも気付いてるだろう。                                                                                                  
                                                                                                  
僕が芥川君に“恋慕”していたことを。                                                                                                  
                                                                                                  
そして、彼亡き後の今もその想いを消せていないことを。                                                                                                
                                                                                                
「少し散歩してくる」                                                                                                
                                                                                                
とみ子に一言告げて散歩に出た。                                                                                                
                                                                                                
ーー                                                                                                
                                                                                                
「犀星君」                                                                                                                            
                                                                                                                            
呼ばれて振り向くと十年前に逝ってしまった、                                                                                                
芥川龍之介君が亡くなった時の姿のまま佇んでいた。                                                                                                                          
                                                                                                                          
「芥川君！？」                                                                                                                          
                                                                                                                          
なんで！？                                                                                                                        
                                                                                                                        
「どうやら、未練がありすぎて                                                                                                
“やり直し”の機会をもらったらしい。                                                                                                
                                                                                                
犀星君、僕はね、                                                                                                
ずっと、君に“恋慕”していたんだ……                                                                                                                    
                                                                                                                    
文も子どもたちもちゃんと愛してたけど、                                                                                                
僕は犀星君を“文学仲間”ではなく                                                                                                
“一人の男性”として愛していたんだ。                                                                                                                    
                                                                                                                    
“比翼連理”                                                                                                                    
                                                                                                                    
僕は君がいないと飛べないんだ。                                                                                                
                                                                                                
君がとみ子さんと朝子ちゃんと朝巳君を愛してることは                                                                            
知ってるけど僕は君を愛していたんだ」                                                                                                        
                                                                                                
僕はため息を吐いた。                                                                                                          
                                                                                                                  
「……まったく、芥川君はずるいね。                                                                                                                  
                                                                                                                  
“比翼連理”なんて言われたら……                                                                                                                  
                                                                                                                  
はぁ～ 白状すると、                                                                                                
僕も芥川君に“恋慕”してたよ。                                                                            
                                                                            
僕も芥川君を“一人の男性”として愛してる」                                                                                                                          
                                                                                                                
“あの頃”から、僕たちは“両思い”だったんだね。                                                                                                            
                                                                                                
まさか、散歩に出て、生き返った芥川君と遭遇するは……                                                                                                
                                                                                                
「とりあえず、僕の家に行こう。                                                                                                
                                                                                                
他の人に見つかったら厄介だ」                                                                                              
                                                                                              
芥川君を連れて帰ると、とみ子は驚いたものの                                                                                              
直ぐにお茶の用意をしてくれた。                                                                                              
                                                                                              
「ちょっと押し付けがましい言い方をするとね、                                                                                              
芥川君亡き後、芥川家の皆は                                                                                              
僕ととみ子が面倒を見ているんだ」                                                                                              
                                                                                              
半月に一度、“芥川家”に様子を見に行っている。                                                                                              
                                                                                                  
「……犀星君たちが？」                                                                                             
                                                                                            
「うん、子供たちは本当の兄弟のように仲良しだよ。                                                                                               
                                                                                            
寛君や朔太郎君、文学仲間たちには                                                                                            
随分と反対されたけど僕もとみ子も                                                                                            
君の家族を受け入れることしか頭になかったんだ」                                                                                            
                                                                                            
文さんは龍芥川君亡き後、                                                                                            
かなり、茫然自失になっていたし                                                                                            
比呂志君は長男だから、と涙を堪えて                                                                                            
多加志君や也寸志君の面倒を一生懸命みていた。                                                                                            
                                                                                            
「僕は……いつも、犀星君に助けられてばかりだね。                                                                                            
                                                                                            
生前も死後も……」                                                                                          
                                                                                          
そんなことはない。                                                                                          
                                                                                          
そもそも、僕の根源は芥川君なのだから。                                                                                          
                                                                                          
「もう一つ、重いことを言うとね、                                                                                          
君の死後、三年は“書けなかった”んだ」                                                                                          
                                                                                          
芥川君は俯いてしまった。                                                                                          
                                                                                          
「文机に向かって原稿用紙を並べて筆を持っても                                                                                                
芥川君がいない事実を思い出して                                                                                                
一言も書けなかった……」                                                                                    
                                                                                    
「芥川さん、少しの間、我が家に居てはどうですか？                                                                                    
                                                                                    
朝子と朝巳は驚くでしょうけど、喜びますよ」                                                                                  
                                                                                  
僕ととみ子の子どもである朝子と朝巳は                                                                                  
小さい頃から芥川君が好きだろう。　                                                                                  
                                                                                  
「朝子は十七歳、朝巳は十五歳になったよ」                                                                                
                                                                                
「文や比呂志に多加志に也寸志は僕のこと                                                                                  
どう思ってるんだか……                                                                                  
                                                                                  
十年間、犀星君ととみ子さんがついていてくれたから                                                                                  
大丈夫だとは思うけど、                                                                                
僕のことは薄情者だと思ってるだろうね……」                                                                                
                                                                                
芥川君お茶の入った湯飲みを持ったまま俯いていた。                                                                                
                                                                                
「犀星君……僕は夫としての役割も父親としての役割も                                                                                
無責任に放棄して自害したんだ」                                                                                
                                                                                
確かに、芥川君の死後は色々と大変だった。                                                                                
                                                                                
「芥川君の自害のニュースは新聞で記事にされていて                                                                                
それを目にした時、僕は出張先の上野駅の待合室で泣いたよ」                                                                          
                                                                          
「犀星君……ごめん、それから、ありがとう」                                                                      
                                                                      
芥川君は僕に口づけをした。                                                                      
                                                                      
「あらあら、ふふ、」                                                                      
                                                                      
その直ぐ後、台所の方からとみ子の笑い声が聞こえてきた。                                                                      
                                                                      
「とみ子さん、すみません……」                                                                    
                                                                    
「いいのよ、なんなら“恋仲”になったらどうかしら？                                                                    
                                                                    
私は気にしないわよ」                                                                    
                                                                    
とみ子の発言に流石の僕も驚いた。                                                                    
                                                                    
いくら、僕と芥川君が“両想い”だからって                                                                    
妻から他の人の恋人になったらなんて言われるとは……                                                                  
                                                                  
「とみ子、本気かい？」                                                                
                                                                
「えぇ、勿論。                                                                
                                                                
芥川さんが生き返ったことは“芥川家”の                                                                
皆にはまだ、秘密にしておいた方がいいでしょうし、                                                                
“両想い”なら“恋仲”になるのは自然の摂理でしょう？                                                              
                                                              
“夜の営み”もどうぞ」                                                            
                                                            
湯飲みを持ったまま硬直しかけた……                                                            
                                                            
「とみ子は僕が芥川君を“抱いて”もいいのかい？」                                                          
                                                          
「芥川さんは、犀星さんの“二番目の妻”ということで                                                        
いいんじゃないかしら」                                                        
                                                        
僕は今度こそ、硬直した。                                                    
                                                    
「とみ子さん、本当に……」                                                    
                                                    
「二人を見ていれば、“本気”だとわかるもの。                                                    
                                                    
それに、犀星さんが毎月<二十四日>に                                                    
一人で泣いているのを知っているから」                                                  
                                                  
とみ子はやっぱり、知っていたんだね。                                                  
                                                  
「すまない、とみ子。                                                  
                                                  
<二十四日>はとみ子にとっても悲しい日なのに……」                                                  
                                                  
「あら、いいのよ。                                                  
                                                  
息子の豹太郎が一歳でこの世を去ってしまったのは                                                  
確かに悲しいけれど、その後で朝子と朝巳                                                  
が生まれてきてくれたんですもの。                                                  
                                                  
それだけで悲しみを上回っているのよ。                                                  
                                                  
                                                  
だけど、芥川さんの死は                                                  
“恋慕”しているかは関係なく、別問題よ。                                              
                                              
私は子どもたちと寝るから                                              
犀星さんと芥川さんは愛を育んでちょうだい。                                              
                                              
お休みなさい」                                              
                                              
とみ子は僕の書斎を出て、子ども部屋に向かった。                                              
                   
ーー                                             
                   
気付けば、芥川君が                  
“生き返って”から                  
夏から秋になり                  
四ヶ月経っていた。                  
                  
「芥川君、抱いていいかい？」                                            
                                            
僕がそう訊くと芥川君は自ら、着物の帯を解いた。                                          
                                          
「犀星君、僕に触れて……                                          
                                          
それから、名前で呼んでほしい」                                        
                                        
「……龍之介君、愛してる」                                        
                                        
僕たちは一度では終われず、                                        
二度、三度と身体を繋けた。                                      
                                      
翌朝、目が覚めても隣に芥川君がいることにほっとした。                                  
                                  
「おはよう、芥川君」                                
                                
「おはよう、犀星君。                                
                                
昨夜はたくさん、呼んでくれたのに、もう、名前では呼んでくれないのかい？」                          
                          
僕は苦笑しながら芥川君を抱き寄せた。                          
                          
「名前で呼ぶと昨夜の情事を思い出して、朝だというのに君をまた……」                        
                        
暴きたなる……                        
                        
「明るい所で見られるのは                        
少し恥ずかしいけど、                        
犀星君の好きにしていいよ？                        
                        
だから、名前で呼んで……」                        
                        
芥川君……いや、龍之介君は                        
僕の背に腕を回して                        
ぎゅっと抱き着いた。              
                
するりと、着物の上から                
太ももを撫でると                
龍之介君は顔を僕の肩に埋めた。                
                
「んっ……」                      
                      
「ふふ、龍之介君、敏感だね。                    
                    
夜はまた、可愛い声と                
可愛い姿を見せてね、              
僕の“奥さん”」              
              
龍之介君の太ももから手を              
離して抱き締め返した。            
            
「僕の“旦那さん”は            
性欲が尽きることを知らないな。            
            
夜は犀星君のためだけに“啼く”よ……愛してる」            
            
とみ子の呼ぶ声で、            
僕たちは布団から出て着替え、居間に向かった。          
          
「こうして一緒に食卓を          
囲んでいると、僕まで          
“室生家”の一員になれたみたいで嬉しい」      
      
「何言ってるんだい、      
龍之介君は僕の“奥さん”なんだから、家族に決まってるだろう。      
      
とみ子が“第二婦人”って言っていたじゃないか」    
    
とみ子は冗談ではなく    
本気で龍之介君を僕の“第二婦人”と言ったんだろう。    
    
そして、一年後、新たな奇跡が
起こることを僕らは知らない。