“最期”なんて言わせない

第五話 “最期”なんて言わせない⑤

翌朝、僕は七時に家を出て芥川家に向かった。                                                                            
一分一秒でも早く龍之介君に会いたかった。                                                                      
                                                                      

妻・とみ子は笑顔で“行ってらっしゃい”と送り出してくれた。                                                                      
                                                                             
早朝ということもあり、なるべく
                                                                      
小さい音で玄関の戸を叩いた。                                                                      
                                                                      
「犀星君、来てくれたんだね！！
                                                                      

                                                                      
会いたかった」                                                                      
                                                                                    
龍之介君は僕に抱き着いた。                                                                      
                                                                      
「約束したからね。
                                                                      

                                                                      
少し早く来すぎてしまったかな？」                                                                      
                                                                                  
さすがに、朝の七時は早すぎだったか……                                                                      
                                                                                
「少し眠いけど、犀星君に会え幸せだから、嬉しい……                                                                      
                                                                      
今日はずっと一緒にいたい」                                                                      
                                                                                
寝ぼけている無防備な龍之介君、可愛いな。                                                                              
                                                                              
「たくさん、抱いてあげるって言ったじゃないか。                                                                      
                                                                            
僕は外で待っているから、奥さんの文さんと息子の比呂君と多加志君と也寸志君と                                                                          
家族みんなで朝食を食べておいで。                                                                      
                                                                        
そしたら、室生家に帰ろう」
                                                                      

                                                                      
龍之介君は抱き着いたまま                                                                        
離れようとしない。                                                                        
                                                                        
「今すぐ、室生家に帰って                                                                        
犀星君に抱かれたい……」                                                                      
                                                                        
可愛いことを言ってくれる。                                                                      
                                                                        
「“龍之介君は“僕の妻”だけど、
文さんの“夫”で比呂志君・多加志君・也寸志君の                                                                      
“父親”なんだから
家族もちゃんと大切にしないとね」
                                                                      

                                                                      
「わかった……  朝食を食べてくる」
                                                                      

                                                                      
僕から離れて、家の中に戻っていった。
                                                                      

                                                                      
ーー
                                                                      

                                                                      
二十分後、朝食を終えた龍之介君が来た。
                                                                      

                                                                      
「犀星君、お待たせ」
                                                                      

                                                                      
ぎゅっと腕に抱き着いてきた。
                                                                      

                                                                      
仕草一つ一つが可愛い。                                                                      

                                                                      
僕の家に着き、玄関を閉めて                                                                          
龍之介君に深い口づけをした。                                                                          
                                                                          
「ふぁ、ぁ、犀星君の口づけ、気持ちいい」                                                                        
                                                                        
本当に龍之介君は僕の理性を壊す天才だ。
                                                                      

                                                                      
「龍之介君、今、“女の顔”に
なってることに気づいてるかい？                                                                          
                                                                          
早く、僕に抱かれたいって顔」                                                                        
                                                                        
本当に可愛いくて仕方がない。
                                                                      

                                                                      
「……間違ってないよ。                                                                        
                                                                        
今すぐ、犀星君に抱かれたいと思っているから。
                                                                      

                                                                      
玄関ここで抱かれたい」
                                                                      

                                                                      
まさか、玄関で抱いてほしいとは驚いた。
                                                                      

                                                                      
「わかった、一回だけだよ。」                                                                      
                                                                                    
僕は龍之介君を玄関の床に押し倒した。
                                                                      
                                                                      
「玄関の床だけどいいんだね？」                                                                      
                                                                      
「うん、もう、我慢できない……」                                                                            
                                                                            
着物の中に手を入れ、龍之介君の
                                                                      
身体を弄まさぐった。                                                                      
                                                                          
「犀星君の手、気持ちいい……」
                                                                      

                                                                      
朝から自宅の玄関で情事をするという背徳感と
                                                                      
緊張が感情を昂らせる。
                                                                      

                                                                      
「僕、犀星君の家の玄関で……                                                                        
                                                                        
ごめん……やっぱり、犀星君の書斎に……」                                                                        
                                                                        
少し冷静になって、恥ずかしくなったのかな？                                                                        
                                                                        
「龍之介君は本当に可愛らしいね。                                                                      
                                                                      
気にしなくていいよ。                                                                              
                                                                              
玄関ここで僕に                                                               あられもない姿を見せておくれ」                                                                          
                                                                          
僕は龍之介の両足を持ち上げた。                                                                        
                                                                        
居間には妻・とみ子がいるが気にしない。                                                                      
                                                                      
「あ、や、こんな体勢恥ずかしい……」                                                                        
                                                                        
「大丈夫、僕しか見てないよ。                                                                        
                                                                        
綺麗だよ、龍之介君」                                                                      
                                                                      
真夏とはいえ、玄関は涼しいが硬い床の上だ。                                                                      
                                                                      
「背中、痛くないかい？」                                                                        
                                                                        
「大丈夫だよ」                                                                      
　                                                                      
ーー                                                                      
                                                                              
玄関での事後、僕の書斎に移動した。                                                                            
                                                                            
「やっぱり、犀星君の書斎は……

君の匂いがして落ち着く。                                                                            
                                                                            
ここでも、抱いてほしい」                                                                      
                                                                      
「おや、今さっき、玄関であれ程
乱れたのに足りないのかい？」                                                                              
                                                                              
からかうように意地悪な言い方をしてみた。                                                                          
                                                                          
「足りないよ……僕は“犀星君の妻”だもん。                                                                        
                                                                        
今日はずっと僕に触れていてほしい……駄目？」                                                                        
                                                                        
本当に可愛すぎる。                                                                        
                                                                        
「優しくしたいのに乱暴にしてしまいそうだから                                                                        
あまり可愛い顔しないで……」                                                                      
                                                                      
まだ、朝だというに……はぁ～                                                                        
                                                                        
龍之介君には聞こえないように
小さくため息を吐いた。                                                                        
                                                                        
「犀星君に触れてもらえるなら、
乱暴でも、無理やりでも、嬉しいから……                                                                        
                                                                        
ね？　早く、抱いて……」                                                                      
                                                                      
だから、なんで龍之介君は
こんなに可愛いんだか。                                                                      
                                                                      
「“妻”にそんな可愛くおねだりされて
断れる“夫”はいないだろう」                                                                      
                                                                      
龍之介君の顎を持ち上げ、口の中を蹂躙した。
                                                                      

                                                                      
「ふぁぁ、んん、犀星……君……」
                                                                      

                                                                      
口づけの合間に僕の名前を呼ぶ甘い声に、
落ち着いた理性が再び、崩れそうになった。
        
                                                                                                                                 

                                                                      
「だから、そんな甘い声で呼ばないでおくれ」                                                                            
                                                                            
「犀星君の理性を崩したくて……

思うままに抱いて？                                                                      
                                                                            
痛くても、無理やりでも                                                                      
焦らすでも、犀星君の好きなように抱いて……                                                                          
                                                                          
僕は“犀星君のもの”で“犀星君の妻”だから
 」                                                                                                    
                                                                        
「“妻”だからこそ、優しくしたいのに
龍之介君はことごとく、僕の理性を                                                                                                                                                
崩す行動ばかりして……」
                                                                      

                                                                      
「犀星君はこんな、はしたない僕は嫌？
                                                                      

                                                                      
やっぱり、今日はもう、僕に触れたくない？
                                                                      

                                                                      
ごめん……甘えてばかりで……」
                                                                      

                                                                      
いそいそと僕から離れようとする龍之介君を
抱き寄せて僕の腕の中に閉じ込める。
                                                                                                                                            

「放して……」                                                                        
                                                                        
逃げようとする龍之介君の耳元で囁いた。                                                                        
                                                                        
「⟦今、離れたらお仕置きするよ？
                                                                      

                                                                      
まぁ離れなくても、お仕置きするけど⟧」
                                                                      

                                                                      
「お、お仕置き！？」
                                                                      

                                                                      
何をさせられるのか
わからずに龍之介君の瞳が揺れている。
                                                                      

                                                                      
「そう、一瞬でも僕を疑った罰だよ。
                                                                                                                                           

                                                                      
今日は僕の言うことを全部聞くこと。
                                                                      

                                                                      
返事は«はい»だけ。わかったかい？」                                                                        
                                                                        
「はい……」
                                                                      

                                                                      
龍之介君は純粋過ぎる。
                                                                      

                                                                      
「いい子だね。                                                                      
                                                                      
次は文机に手をついて、 
前屈みになって足を開いてごらん」                                                                            
                                                                            
「……はい」                                                                          
                                                                          
本当に従順過ぎる。                                                                        
                                                                        
前屈みになったことで着物の裾が少し捲れて、足が見えている。
                                                                      

                                                                      
「龍之介君、僕にどうされたいか、具体的に
                                                                      
言ってごらん？」
                                                                      
                                                                      
「はい…… 犀星君のモノを結腸最奥にほしいです……                                                                        
                                                                        
それから、結腸最奥に出してほしいです……」                                                                        
                                                                        
文机に手をついたまま、                                                                        
僕の方を振り向いて言った。                                                                        
                                                                        
「“妻”にそこまで言われたら、応えるのが“夫”だよね。                                                                      
                                                                      
 わかった、その通りにしてあげる」                                                                      
                                                                      
背後から思い切り抱いた。                                                                        
                                                                        
「ほら、龍之介君のほしがった所まで届いたよ」                                                                      
                                                                      
「嬉しい……　犀星君……　もう、怒ってない？」                                                                          
                                                                          
龍之介の声は震えていた。
                                                                    
                                                                    
「龍之介君が僕を疑うから、少し意地悪しただけで                                                                
最初から怒ってないよ」                                                              
                                                              
僕の言葉に安心したのか、身体が弛緩した。                                                              
                                                              
「……よかった。犀星君に嫌われたかと思った。                                                            
                                                            
お願い……僕の結腸最奥に出して」                                                      
                                                      
本当に……龍之介君は……                                                    
                                                    
「わかった、結腸最奥に出すから全部、受け止めておくれ」                                                  
                                                  
振り返った龍之介君の目には涙が。                                                
                                                
「龍之介君！？　　                                                
                                                
泣いているのかい！？」                                            
                                            
意地悪を言い過ぎてしまった……                                      
                                          
「“本妻”はとみ子だけど、龍之介君も
僕の“妻”だからね。                                          
                                          
我が家は一夫二妻制だし、
ちゃんと、龍之介君を愛しているよ。                                
                                
龍之介君を愛しているが故に時折、
意地悪をしたくなるんだ……                              
                              
だけど、泣かせたかったわけじゃない……ごめん」                        
                        
「これは、嬉し涙だよ。                      
                      
犀星君に愛してもらって、嬉しいから……」                    
                    
泣き笑いの顔でそんなことを言われたら                  
抱き締めずにはいられない。　                
                
「あまり、可愛いことをいないでおくれ……                
                
また、龍之介君の結腸最奥を              
攻め立てたくなってしまう」            
            
「いいよ、犀星君の、ちょうだい？」        
        
あざとい。　龍之介君はあざと過ぎる。      
      
<ちょうだい？>と言った声色が甘さを含んでいて    
簡単に僕の理性を崩す。  
  
「もちろん、あげるけど……ゆっくり、ね？」  
  
時刻はまだ午前中。  
  
時間はたっぷりある。